It’s not about you, Leanne (Tahoe, part II)

So where was I? Oh yeah, I was in the midst of a total adult meltdown tantrum and Ray was convincing me not to jump off the 11th floor balcony by agreeing to train for a century ride with me next year. (I can hear him now... “It seemed like a good idea at the time. You should have seen how sad she was. I just wanted her to cheer up. I didn’t think she believed me. Anything to make her stop crying...”)

So, I dried my tears and went back to bed in an attempt to be somewhat rested for the event the next day. I thought about my Teammates: Jon, a TNT running coach who was competing as a participant and riding in honor of his wife, battling cancer for the third time; Andi, a single mom, who despite a crazy work schedule and continued health problems, was competing in her millionth TNT event (well, it seems that way); Kristin, also in her umpteenth TNT event, so dedicated to the cause that she signed up to become a coach for the next cycle event; Judy, a recent widow, so determined to make a difference in the fight against cancer that she willingly signed up for a 100 mile bike ride despite her fears; Jacey, a good friend who has been with me every single step of this fitness journey, encouraging me from the very beginning, when I couldn’t run a mile without stopping to walk. I thought of Sam, the most athletic (and daring) 71 year old person I have ever met; Gary, always smiling and never once complaining, despite being hauled off to the ER after one particularly difficult ride (he was fine, just dehydrated); Susana, who just learned to ride a bike and started this journey without knowing how to stop or shift; and Stefany, her daughter and partner in crime, battling her own injuries all season. I thought of my coach, Bryan, who earned so many nicknames this season I can’t keep track anymore, a great coach - tough and no nonsense, and able to spot a BS story a mile away, but patient and tolerant of my issues when I needed some remedial cycle work; and finally, I thought of our tireless and amazing LLS campaign coordinator, Nicole, who was actually responsible for three TNT teams this season (2 triathlon and one cycle), and never once mixed us up! We have been together on this journey for almost six months so far; I had accepted that I would not be riding the 100 miles on my bike with them, but I had also decided that I would not be a brat about it (I was not going to make this about me).



One awesome Team, ready to go!


I showed up at the meeting spot at 6:00 AM without my bike and put on my best game face. The weatherman was actually right about the day’s forecast – cold, rainy, possible hail all day – not a great day for any bike ride, never mind a 100 mile ride in the mountains! I outfitted several of my Teammates with my gloves, bike tights, socks, shoe covers, foot warmers, and hand warmers. I figured that if I couldn’t make the ride, at least my clothes would! I brought my TNT cowbell and cheered as my clothes (and my Teammates) crossed the starting line. With a wistful sigh, I made my way back to my room and outlined my awesome plan to support the Team for the whole 100 miles to Ray, who was probably so glad I wasn’t crying anymore he would have agreed to anything!

The Plan

The road to Emerald Bay was closed to traffic until 8:30 AM for the safety of the riders. We planned to wait for the road to open and then to catch up with and assist our Team with whatever they needed (dry clothes, warm car, food, drinks, cowbell). While waiting for the road to open, we stopped for a hearty breakfast and met a bunch of other TNT cyclists who had opted out of the ride because it was too wet and cold. As one of them told me, “I met my goal, and raised money for a great cause. There’s no point in doing the ride today because I wouldn’t enjoy it. The ride is the reward for a season of fundraising and training. There’s no reward in frostbite, or worse, crashing my bike on a downhill.” Hmm, he made a good point, but I don’t think my Palm Beach TNTers would agree.



Was the ride worth the view? Maybe.

 As soon as the road opened, we were on our way up the switchbacks to Emerald Bay. I had one thought – “Whoa!” This was a steep, narrow, scary road with sheer drop offs on one side.
I was having heart palpitations in the car, and I couldn’t imagine riding my bike up these roads in the freezing rain. I didn’t see any of my Teammates, so we made our way to the second rest stop. Here we met up with two of the Team, and they were both freezing and tired. One said her feet were so cold and wet she didn’t think she could go on. I offered her my socks right off my feet (and she accepted). We found a bench, and I took her wet frozen socks and replaced them with my warm dry ones. I gave her my foot warmers and some plastic bags to keep her feet dry, and she was off! Another one of my Teammates needed some more TLC, so we put her and her bike in the car so she could thaw and catch her breath. As we were leaving the stop, two more Teammates arrived looking for dry socks. I had already given mine away but offered to find some and meet them at the next stop. We had a mission, and were off!

We found dry socks at a shop in Tahoe City, and I bought a replacement pair for myself plus enough for the whole team, just in case. I grabbed some extra plastic bags from the confused cashier and we made our way to the next stop in the city of Truckee. Here we found more of our Teammates, and they were all shivering and wet. Two of them had to have their brakes replaced, one had two flat tires, and they were all tired and cold (America’s Most Beautiful Bike Ride, huh? Most miserable is more like it). We offered what support we could and waited for the rest of our friends. Eventually they all made it; we supplied more dry socks and plastic bags, and were off to the next stop.

While we were driving, the skies just opened up. Like the early morning rain wasn’t insulting enough, now it was a downpour, falling with a vengeance, and I hoped it wasn’t too much for anyone. Ray did his best to avoid drenching any of the cyclists with the spray from the car. The next stop along the ride was a designated lunch stop. It was here that the sun finally came out and my Teammate who had gotten in the car with us at the second stop felt refreshed enough to finish the ride and got her bike ready for the final 30 miles or so (half of which was uphill!). This is amazing to me. I don’t think I would have the dedication to willingly leave a warm dry car to ride my bike up and down a mountain in who knows what kind of weather. As soon as she left the car, we got a call that another Teammate needed assistance, so off we went to find her!



The sun came out while we stopped for lunch


Knee problems were plaguing the next rider and we put her and her bike in the car and brought her to the next rest stop. From here she went to the medical tent, to see if they could tape her knee, but they were all out of sports tape. She refused to give up, and here is just one example of what sets the Palm Beach TNTers apart from the rest: she got duct tape from the mechanic’s tent and brought it to the medical tent. She had her knee taped with DUCT TAPE and proceeded to finish the ride!

That’s right; folks – our little group of riders from Palm Beach, home of the sun and sand, flat roads and sea level training conditions tackled this ride and won! It wasn’t pretty – we had plastic bags taped to our feet, shower caps over our bike helmets, and duct tape on our injuries, but we finished! That’s more than I can say for a lot of riders. In fact, the folks we met in the breakfast café (the ones who bailed without even starting) were from Ohio. Not to slam any Ohioans (well, actually I LOVE to slam Ohioans but only about college football), but come on, people – you train in the cold and wet, right? There was a ton of participants who turned around and quit before even making it to the first rest stop, and the sag wagon was absolutely FULL of riders who had enough and called it quits at various points, but not my Team - Palm Beach came to represent!

(And we did)

We are the Palm Beach Purple People!

Expect the Unexpected (Tahoe, part 1)

What is that they say? You plan, God laughs. The past few weeks have reinforced that lesson over and over. The take home message is that nothing works out the way you planned it, but somehow everything works out the way it is supposed to.




The view on the way to Lake Tahoe

My last blog entry was a few weeks ago, and I was counting my blessings, every single one of them. I was also laid up with lower back pain, which turned out to be a result of a little bike wreck I had two months ago. A few visits to my trusty chiropractor had me back on my game and I was good to go. The next two weeks passed in a flurry of tying up loose ends at work, getting ready for the last day of school, and packing for 10 days of vacation. I was obsessively checking the weather report for South Lake Tahoe and despite my efforts, prayers, and crossed fingers, the forecast never changed – cold, rain, possible snow – low of 36, high of 52 (yuck). So, I packed every warm thing I owned, and spent way too much money ordering brand new (and warm) cycle clothing (gloves, shoe covers, fleece lined cycle tights, foot warmers...). Fortunately everything arrived on time, and got crammed in my suitcase with everything else. 
It’s go time!

As our flight was heading towards Sacramento, the captain let everyone know we were flying over Lake Tahoe – yeah, baby! I peered over Ray’s shoulders and noticed a very large body of water below the plane... very large... huge, even. I also could not help but notice all of the snow around the lake. Snow? In June? Sigh... good thing I bought all those warm clothes.

Perfect cycling weather...

Ray and I arrived a day before the rest of the Team, so we explored the area a bit, but mostly relaxed. On Friday I rented a mountain bike with my Teammate and good friend, Jacey, and we did some more exploring. The idea was to try and acclimate to the elevation (6200’) and the hills since we had the time. Jacey is a bit more adventurous than me (but then again, who isn’t?), and was in her element; dodging tree trunks, riding through squishy mud, and spotting wildlife. I, on the other hand, was white knuckling the handlebars, had my eyes glued to the trail/road (so I missed most of the wildlife), and was generally spazzing out (but trying to seem cool), as usual. We found ourselves at the Pearl Izumi outlet (specialty running and biking clothing and accessories), where we were compelled to spend even more money on warm cycle gear. The store was full of fellow cyclists who were just as freaked out about the weather report for Sunday’s ride. The store manager was grinning from ear to ear (not that I blame her). 

Rain, Rain, Go Away!

The next day we met up with the rest of the team for a 20 mile “shake down” ride. Here was our chance to get the kinks out before Sunday’s mega ride. We could try out what we planned to wear, and make sure everything on the bike was shifting cleanly, and working smoothly. The weather was cooperating in that it was rainy and cold – exactly what was expected for Sunday, so it was a true dress rehearsal. We set out on the road and quickly realized a few things: cycle shoes are designed to keep your feet cool on a hot day, Florida toes get cold... fast, Florida lungs (gasp) train at sea level, you cannot ride in a pace line on a wet muddy road unless you want to eat the mud spraying off of your teammate’s tire in front of you, and finally, (speaking of mud) it is best to squirt a bit of water out of your bottle before putting it to your mouth for a drink (Aack! Choke, spit!).

As I was wiping down my bike after the ride, I noticed a familiar tightening in my lower back (no!). I quickly dropped to the floor and started going through all my stretches and exercises to release the twinge of pain, which was getting worse by the minute. I took some ibuprofen, forced myself to relax, and spent 20 minutes in a hot shower, all to no avail. I refused to accept the inevitable and gamely started getting my stuff ready for the ride on Sunday. I showed up at the TNT inspiration dinner with a back brace and a support pillow, and my coach’s eyes got real wide (I didn’t want to talk about it).

At the dinner, we learned some amazing things... Team in Training has been participating in America’s Most Beautiful Bike Ride for the past 15 years; in those years, we have raised over 75 million dollars for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society from this event alone! Just for the record, TNT has raised over a BILLION DOLLARS (yes, I used the Dr. Evil pinkie to the chin maneuver) for the Society! This past weekend, TNT had over 1500 riders determined to circle Lake Tahoe, and together we raised $6.8 million (whoa).

Hearing all this amazing news, and being surrounded by all the good cheer and purple people made my back feel better and I was excited to ride. Both my coach and teammates warned me to listen to my body and make a call in the morning. I went to bed early and said a prayer for a speedy recovery and a pain-free morning (with a little sun thrown in for good measure).

Unfortunately, morning came a little early to my room in the form of a 3:00 AM bathroom call (nature calls, I listen). I rolled over to get out of bed and felt the spasms in my back begin. Ray heard my whine and leaned over to comfort me – bad move, baby (cue the water works!).

To say I was despondent wouldn't even scratch the surface of what I was feeling. Disappointment, regret, futility, helplessness, and a little bit of rage, mixed in with back pain made for a very unhappy camper at three in the morning. What did I do all this work for? Raise all this money? Train so hard? Push my body to the brink and back? Save for a new bike? I missed countless softball games, girls’ nights, date nights, neglected my family, my house, my yard... All for this moment – the ability to bike 103 miles in the mountains, and I COULDN’T EVEN GET OUT OF BED!!

I was wrecked, emotionally and physically and I hadn’t even gotten on my bike, yet.

Ray, ever the philosopher, said to me, “Everything happens for a reason. God has a plan for you.”

I wanted to smother him with my pillow, but I knew I didn’t have the strength.

I’m not an emotional person, usually. I’m not given to rash, hysterical crying jags. But, when I finally give in, I generally make it count and this tantrum was no exception. After using nearly every tissue in the room (plus the bed sheet, and probably Ray’s shoulder which is big and strong, but not particularly absorbent), my darling hubby was desperate to make me feel better. He said something that (though I am sure he is regretting) actually did make me feel better.

He said, “You can try again next year, and I’ll do it with you.”

WHAT?!?

Did he say it just to make me stop crying? Maybe. Men have been known to agree to lots of things just to stop a woman’s tears. But, hopefully he meant it. Hopefully he was inspired by the thousands of purple people willing to put their lives on hold for a little while to make a difference for those who can’t. Maybe it was my crazy teammates and the way we love and support each other like a single-minded yet slightly dysfunctional family. Maybe it was the challenge, the tough course, and the new shiny (and expensive) bikes.

He’s a man – it was probably the bikes.

(More on the ride, to follow...)